A Bit DifferentThey told me it was impossiblethat in all probablity I would failso I worked as hard as possibleto one day boast about my taleOf how I defeated the chains that held meof how I was stronger then they thoughtof how I became the person I wanted to beOf how I did all that I soughtIt would be magnificentIt would be significantI would be someone importantwhen I showed them I was gorgeous.but then,where are these things I was to do?The things that would show them that I grew?The things I had dreamed about for years?The things that continually brought me tears?No where.Not a hint or glimpse of these tales I toldPerhaps I really was much to boldto not shrink at the ones who laughedPerhaps I really am just draftPerhaps I really will never succeedPerhaps I'll never be the personthat I really want to beOr am I?Perhaps I didn't make the tales trueor even hold up to all my silly rulesbut I did try, oh did I tryI tried and tried and tried againI never gave up, not even w
Falling Apartfalling, softlyfalling, fastwatching all my time go pastis it to early? to give up and leaveis it to late? to have something else up my sleeveI don't know where I'm headingor what's coming to me.Should I be worried?as everything falls apartor perhaps falls in placeShould I hurry?or just ran awayor run towards a distant dreamShould I give up?on something that will never happenon something that has happenedShould I just stop?to think?to do?Or should I be someone who,I lovePerhaps that's all there is to it.Nothing morebut it just seems a bit...too easy to ignoremaybe I'll accept it lateror soonerbut maybe I'll neverfind my self cooler.It's something I dreadbut makes me excited enough that I can't go to bedwho will I become?but then, I am already someone nowbut then, I am not the person from beforeWho will I be?What will I see?falling, softlyfalling, fast.
The way to See is not how I always PercieveIf it was really simplewhy am I still here?If I could win easilywhy do I taste defeat in the air?If I just needed to be strongerwhy do I just not care?Is it really my fault?of courseBut who can I blame?MyselfOnly myselfMe.Okay, so I'm to blameeverything is my faultbut things are still the sameit's like having a wound filled with saltI know what I need to doso why don't I do it?Will this actually help meor will it make a fire litwill it burn down everythingthat I've worked so hard forwill it take the things I've doneand make them nothing but a sorewill I become a monstera worthless pile of nothingor will I become airsailing around without a worry or careor without anything to hold onto.It's hopeless to think about.Why?Because I'm to blame.It's always going to be the same.It's my fault. Me.And only I can change it.And for that, I need to change.Not regret.